This Year: 2003

"This Year" is a series of weekly posts, each about one song from one year of my life. See the introduction for more.

Another quiet, sad song - another one about something broken or not working right.

You're makin' a mess
Is that what you do best?
Is madness just a hand-me-down?

My song for 2003 is B.P.D. by Over the Rhine. The title probably refers to Borderline Personality Disorder - probably. It's plausible, at least.

The song itself isn't that specific, though. Broken-ness can always be more general and less specific, and it is here.

I'd make it alright
But I wouldn't get it right
I'm leavin' it alone

It's about someone else, someone specific. That person is having problems - maybe asking for help, maybe just obviously in need of it.

This is clearly not new. The singer cares, but she's hit the point of clarity, of realizing that she can't fix this person, and that trying to fix other people is futile and counter-productive. All you can do is be there. All you can do is watch.

The chorus is largely the word "Yeah" stretched out - that sound of acceptance, finally, that "OK, sure, right" feeling that you've done what you can do, and this is it.

And the sound is mostly quiet: a single strong voice over piano most of the time, repetitive, the same few plaintive chords again and again - like this person asking for help, or needing help, again and again and again.

Cryin' out loud

Cryin' out

You're cryin' out

It's a song of acceptance, another song about that moment - about being there, and knowing there's nothing you can do but just be there. But, you hope, that can be enough.