Monday, April 28, 2025

Better Things: Detachable Penis

"Better Things" is a series of weekly posts, each about one song I really love, by an artist I haven't featured in the previous This Year or Portions For Foxes series. See the introduction for more.

OK, this is a joke song, more or less.

But it's a great joke, told absolutely deadpan, over a jarring, fuzzy musical track. And I feel like it's mostly forgotten now, though it seemed pretty big at the time.

For this week, I'm all-in for Detachable Penis by King Missile.

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again
This happens all the time
It's detachable

It's sung from the POV of a hipster-ish guy in NYC, thirty-some years ago. (The song is from 1992.) What do you do when your detachable penis is missing? Well, you go out and look for it, of course.

I really don't like being without my penis for too long
It makes me feel like less of a man
And I really hate having to sit down
Every time I take a leak

It's a story song; we get the story. It's funny along the way, and the music has that bounce and zip to it that underscores how silly it all is.

Yes, the song is basically a novelty. Yes, it can wear out its welcome, I suppose. But I love the guitar riff it's built on, and singer John S. Hall has a great deadpan tone throughout. It's not one of the great moving songs of our time, but it's not trying to be: what it is is just fine.

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