Quote of the Week: Portrait of a Criminal Attorney

E. Andrew Prosker, as he called himself, had all the appurtenances of a rich man, including in a Long Island stable two racing horses of which he was part owner and in an East 63rd Street apartment a blond mistress of whom he thought himself sole owner. He had a reputation for shadiness in the Criminal Courts Building, and his clients tended to be among the more disreputable of society's anti-bodies, but no public complaint had ever been lodged against him and within certain specific boundaries he did appear to be trustworthy. As one former client reportedly had said of Prosker, "I'd trust Andy alone with my sister all night long, if she didn't have more than fifteen cents on her."

 - Donald E. Westlake, The Hot Rock, pp.78-79

Quote of the Week: Another Morning

I thought about sitting up. The various governing bodies in my mind all agreed that this would be a good thing, but there were disputes over the timetable.

 - Walter Mosely, Blonde Faith, p.174

Quote of the Week: A Relapse of Poetry

I have generally found, as I have gone around the world, that people are tolerant and ready to forgive, and in our little community it was never held against Rodney Spelvin that he had once been a poet and a very virulent one, too; the sort of man who would produce a slim volume of verse bound in squashy mauve leather at the drop of a hat, mostly on the subject of sunsets and pixies.

    - P.G. Wodehouse, "Rodney Has a Relapse," p.131 in Nothing Serious

Quote of the Week: A NYC Magazine Party in 1946

...and next I met a small legal cog in a major political engine. And next Janoth's latest invention in the way of social commentators. And others, all of them pretty damned important people, had they only known it. Some of them unaware they were gentlemen and scholars. Some of them tomorrow's famous fugitives from justice. A sizable sprinkling of lunatics, so plausible they had never been suspected and never would be. Memorable bankrupts of the future, the obscure suicides of ten or twenty years from now. Potentially fabulous murderers. The mothers or fathers of truly great people I would never know.

 - Kenneth Fearing, The Big Clock, pp.384-5 in Crime Novels: American Noir of the 1930s and 40s

Quote of the Week: The Old Firm

The offices of the old-established firm of Marlowe, Thorpe, Prescott, Winslow and Appleby are in Ridgeway's Inn, not far from Fleet Street. The brass plate, let into the woodwork of the door, is misleading. Reading it, you get the impression that on the other side quite a covey of lawyers await your arrival. The name of the firm leads you to suppose that there will be barely standing-room in the office. You picture Thorpe jostling you aside as he makes for Prescott to discuss with him the latest case of demurrer, and Winslow and Appleby treading on your toes, deep in conversation on replevin. But these legal firms dwindle. The years go by and take their toll, snatching away here a Prescott, there an Appleby, till, before you know where you are, you are down to your last lawyer.

 - P.G. Wodehouse, The Girl on the Boat, p.109

Quote of the Week: Vanishing Passengers

Most men, having started out in a car with a lady friend and discovered at journey's end that she was no longer there, would have felt a certain surprise at this shortage and probably asked a lot of tedious questions. To Lord Emsworth, woken with a respectful prod in the ribs by Albert Voules at the door of Blandings Castle and finding himself alone, it never occurred to wonder about what had become of Maudie en route. He seldom worried about things like that. If women vanished out of cars, they vanished. There was nothing you could do about it, and no doubt all would be explained in God's good time.

 - P.G. Wodehouse, Pigs Have Wings, p.167

Quote of the Week: A Night in Hollywood

In the Hollywood Roosevelt bar she complained of the air and said she felt wretched and old. Nonsense, I told her, but we moved to the Zebra Room. She had shifted to Irish whisky, which she drank straight. In the Zebra Room she accused a man at the next table of looking at her contemptuously. I suggested more air. She drove down Wilshire as if she was trying to break through into another dimension. I had to park the Buick for her at the Ambassador. I'd left my car at Swift's.

 - Ross Macdonald, The Moving Target, p.53

Quote of the Week: The Vocal Qualities of Rural Aunts

I had already divined who was at the other end of the wire, my good and deserving Aunt Dahlia having a habit of talking on the telephone with the breezy vehemence of a hog-caller in the western states of America calling his hogs to come and get it. She got this way through hunting a lot in her youth with the Quorn and the Pytchley. What with people riding over hounds, and hounds taking time off to chase rabbits, a girl who hunts soon learns to make herself audible. I believe that she, when in good voice, could be heard in several adjoining counties.

 - P.G. Wodehouse, Much Obliged, Jeeves, p.16

Quote of the Week: O Pioneers!

It was a splendid population - for all the slow, sleepy, sluggish-brained sloths staid at home - you never find that sort of people among pioneers - you cannot build pioneers out of that sort of material. It was that population that gave to California a name for getting up astounding enterprises and rushing them through with a magnificent dash and daring and a recklessness of cost or consequences, which she bears unto this day - and when she projects a new surprise, the grave world smiles as usual, and says "Well, that is California all over."

 - Mark Twain, Roughing It, p.840 in The Innocents Abroad & Roughing It

Quote of the Week, Supplemental: Reporting, Circa 1996

Price had taken what the police had told him and gone straight to work on it; the thought that there might be more to discover would never occur to him. His job wasn't to find things out, his job was to 'make' stories. Some innuendo here, some association there and voila: you had fifteen pars on the front page that suggested much but actually told you fuck-all.

The success of popular reporting since the Eighties has lain in the practice of massively increasing the ration of column inches to facts. Facts were both expensive and time-consuming to procure, so you had to use them as sparingly as possible.

 - Christopher Brookmyre, Quite Ugly One Morning, p.38

Quote of the Week: Not Bad for Government Work

General Stubblebine countered by setting his psychic spies on Noriega. This was the Fort Meade team, who worked out of a condemned clapboard building down a wooded track in Maryland and who, as a result of not officially existing, had no coffee budget, a fact they had come to resent. They were also going stir-crazy. Their offices were claustrophobic, and many of them didn't much like each other to begin with. One, a major called Ed Dames, had taken to psychically spying on the Loch Ness monster during the fallow months, when there wasn't much official military psychic work. He determined it was a dinosaur's ghost. This finding irritated some of the others, who considered it unscientific and frankly implausible. Another psychic spy, David Morehouse, was soon to check himself into a psychiatric hospital as a result of an excess of psychic spying.

 - John Ronson, The Men who Stare at Goats, p.80

Quote of the Week: On That We Can All Agree

Ugh. I hate these kind of decisions. Any decisions, actually. Decisions suck.

 - Martha Wells, Platform Decay. pp.70

Quote of the Week: Someone That I Used to Know

It's always embarrassing to run unexpectedly into a girl you used to be engaged to. I mean, you don't quite know how to comport yourself. If you look chirpy, that's not much of a compliment to her. Whereas, if you look mouldy, you feel that she's patting herself on the back and saying 'Aha! I thought losing me would make the poor clam think a bit!' and that offends a fellow's pride. I suppose the wheeze really is to have one of those cold, inscrutable faces you read about in books.

 -P.G. Wodehouse, Laughing Gas, p.40

Quote of the Week: Natural Mechanisms

The lawyer talked. There are more millionaires in this country than in any other, he said, and at the same time more robbers and killers. Therein lay significance. Extremes in riches make extremes in crime. As long as a Social System permitted the acquisition of extreme riches, there would be equalizing crime and the Government and all law-enforcement organizations might as well fold their hands and accept it.

 - Edward Anderson, Thieves Like Us, pp.339-340 in Crime Novels: American Noir of the 1930s and 1940s

Quote of the Week: A Pathologist's Realization

He had thought that he was going to die and was surprised at home little he feared the prospect. It had all been so shabby and shoddy, so ordinary; and that, he now realized, would be the manner of his real death, when it came. In the dissecting room the bodies used to seem to him the remains of sacrificial victims, spent and inert after the frightful, bloody ceremony of their souls' leaving. But he would never again view a cadaver in that lurid light. Suddenly for him death had lost its terrifying glamour and become just another bit of the mundane business of life, although its last.

 - Benjamin Black, Christine Falls, p.208

Quote of the Hour: What Doesn't Change

I like to think about things that have always been the same, from remote human history up to and including now. People's heads have always been about as hard as they are today and have hurt about the same amount when they bumped together. Horses have always shaken flies off themselves, whether waiting to pull Pharoah's chariots or standing at a kiddie ride at a county fair. Meat cooking on a fire has smelled delicious in exactly the same way forever.

 - Ian Frazier, Paradise Bronx, p.24

Quote of the Hour: Can He Handle It?

As the bus sailed away with Harry safely on the top deck, she held Candy up so she could wave goodbye to him. He wasn't stupid, he was never going to stop asking questions. Perhaps she should tell him the truth about everything. Truth was such a novel ideal to Crystal that she found herself still staring after the bus had disappeared up the road.

 - Kate Atkinson, Big Sky, p.315

Quote of the Hour: Explaining the Unexplainable

I have never wanted to write about my drawings, and I still don't want to, but it occurred to me that it might be a good idea to do it now, when everybody is busy with something else, and get it over quietly.

 - James Thurber, "The Lady on the Bookcase," p.657-58 in Writings & Drawings

Quote of the Hour: Stout Denial

He eyed her apprehensively, like some rat of the underworld cornered by G-men. Painful experience had taught him that visits from Connie meant trouble, and he braced himself, as always, to meet with stout denial whatever charge she might be about to hurl at him. He was a great believer in stout denial and was very good at it.

 - P.G. Wodehouse, Pigs Have Wings, pp.10-11

Quote of the Hour: American Cuisine

Americans will eat anything if it is toasted and held together with a couple of toothpicks and has lettuce sticking out of the sides, preferably a little wilted.

 - Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye, p.693 in Later Novels & Other Writings