Monday, August 12, 2013

The Amazon Pimpage I Haven't Done for a While

Nobody ever clicks on these, so I post them partially for my own amusement and partially to make it look like I have more content here. Well, actually, since it's been months since I did this, I should probably say those used to be my reasons. Now, I'm just doing it to clear some things out of my in-box and feel like I'm accomplishing something this evening.

First, Amazon suspects that some of you may be going back to school yourselves, or that you have little varmints underfoot that will be doing so -- for them, Amazon has created a banner! (That 75% of half-smart Internet users have already blocked.)

Shop Amazon Back to School Shop

If the school you or your wallet will be attending has "college" or "university" as part of its name, this alternate banner might be more apropos:

Shop Amazon Back to School

Second, Amazon thinks that there are some people out there who will be buying a lot of new jewelry because it's summer. I don't know who those people are, but, if you're one of them, here's a banner:

Shop Amazon Jewelry - New Earrings for Summer

And then, Amazon tries hard to make their customers happy, which means that they probably get a lot of returns, which is the reason I think there's a big Deep Discounts on Open-Box and Used Products thing going on now. And this is the banner:

Shop Amazon Warehouse Deals - Deep Discounts on Open-box and Used Products

I also had banners for summer clothes, but the dude in the ad was just so obnoxiously board-shorted and dudely that I can't stomach putting him here for the two of you who haven't learned how to block ads yet. But there's plenty of other stuff to buy at Amazon, believe you me. They'll take over all world commerce if you don't watch out.

And Last, without any banners, if you want to shop or buy anything from that hegemonic Internet retailer, here's a link for you. It'll divert a tiny piece of what you would have paid anyway into my pocket, which I appreciate.

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