Stupid Arguments

I'm in the middle of writing about Peter Bagge's 2009 book Everybody Is Stupid Except For Me, and I have to hive off this thought, because it is completely separate from a general view of the book. And this is not meant as an insult to Bagge, since I've seen versions of this argument many places.

But it is a deeply stupid argument.

Anyway, at the top of page 16, Bagge writes:

My folks wisely refused to buy me a gun of my own, and I can't believe anyone would leave a real gun within a child's reach. Tragically, there are some who do. But how can the government regulate such stupidity? Answer: it can't.

Total bullshit from the ground up. Let me demonstrate.

Murder:
I've never killed anybody, and I can't believe anyone would. Tragically, there are some who do. But how can the government regulate such stupidity? Answer: it can't.

Drunk Driving:
I've never killed anyone while driving drunk, and I can't believe anyone would. Tragically, there are some who do. But how can the government regulate such stupidity? Answer: it can't.

Rape:
I've never forced anybody into sex, and I can't believe anyone would. Tragically, there are some who do. But how can the government regulate such stupidity? Answer: it can't.

Toxic Waste:
I've never released industrial waste into a source of drinking water, and I can't believe anyone would. Tragically, there are some who do. But how can the government regulate such stupidity? Answer: it can't.

Animal Cruelty:
I've never tortured an animal, and I can't believe anyone would. Tragically, there are some who do. But how can the government regulate such stupidity? Answer: it can't.

Bribery:
I've never killed accepted money from Russian oligarchs to do their bidding after I became President, and I can't believe anyone would. Tragically, there are some who do. But how can the government regulate such stupidity? Answer: it can't.

This argument can be used for literally any human activity, and it is an argument that all law is useless. No one who makes this argument actually believes that; they just want to dismiss the possibility of controlling a facet of human activity they want to remain uncontrolled for other reasons.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, and utterly transparent. Do not make this argument; do not allow others to make it in your presence. It is an argument for anarchy.

In fact, if you're really ballsy, punch people in the face when they try to lay this one on you and then say "How can you regulate such stupidity? Answer: you can't."

And then go to jail for battery because, surprise!, we do regulate all of that shit.