Thursday, October 11, 2007

A Meme of Questionable Utility

As happens pretty often, Keith DeCandido was doing this, so I decided to try it, too:

MOUTHOLOGY
Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. I detest salad.

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. I end up at McDonald's the most often, but I prefer Burger King for onion rings.

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Miele's, of Verona, NJ.

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. No more than four inches.

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
A: Cereal for breakfast is an obvious answer. If you mean "and nothing else," then I'm not as sure.

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. Pepperoni and sausage. (And occasionally other meats.)

Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A: Butter. Maybe jelly if I'm feeling energetic. (Or feeling British, though then I'd call it jam.)

TECHNOLOGY
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A: A stitched-together satellite photo of the Earth at night.

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A: Two.

BIOLOGY
Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right.

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Wisdom teeth, splinters...I think that's about it.

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. Either right now (since I haven't seen a dentist in several years) or about five years ago.

Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A. Well, let's see, I toted that barge, so it would have to be that bale.

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Not that I recall.

BULLSHITTOLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Hell no.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A. Andrew C. Wheeler, Devastatingly Sexy and Debonair Lord of the Seven Galaxies

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Whatever makes me fade best into the background.

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. I'm sure there have been bugs. I don't have any humorous stories about other items.

Q. Have you ever saved someone's life?
A. I've spent the last nine years keeping two boys from running out into traffic, so I hope so.

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Not that I remember, but I had my own running-out-into-traffic years way back.

DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Hell, I did it for free at my prom, so sure. (Especially if I get to pick.)

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. Maybe. Depends. If I had already convinced The Wife to buy a bigger house with a real library in it, then I probably would.

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. No, it would take more money than that. I'm finally getting the hang of this...

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. Hell yes. It would burn out eyeballs far and wide, but I don't care about that.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A. No. I don't do stunt eating.

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. Yeah, I think I would. If I could choose, definitely.

DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: Lint.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: You'd have to ask someone who saw it.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: (Starting from the room I'm in now, and circling upward) Neither, wood stairs, hardwood, carpet, neither, wood in the hall, wood, wood, wood with an area rug, carpet on the stairs, all carpet in the upstairs. So the answer is "yes."

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: I stand. Why would you sit?

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: I did in college, and I have a family now, so I think so.

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A: None, which is the correct answer.

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: I haven't had anything I'd characterize as a "run-in" for twenty years.

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: Too late.

Q: Who is number 1 on your top 8?
A: I haven't a clue as to how to answer that.

LASTOLOGY
Q: Friend you talked to?
A: I don't really have "friends;" I'm a suburban father in his late thirties. I did have lunch with my old boss yesterday.

Q: Last person who called you?
A: A colleague from Indianapolis, at work this afternoon.

Q: Person you hugged?
A: Thing 2, tucking him in at bedtime.

FAVORITOLOGY
Q: Number?
A: e

Q: Season?
A: Autumn

CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
A: Well, I know I ain't missing you at all.

Q: Mood?
A: Ring

Q: Listening to?
A: The quiet whisper of the computer and the clatter of my fingers typing.

Q: Watching?
A: Nada

Q: Worrying about?
A: Everything

RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
A: Either the train station or work, depending on how you look at it.

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: That would be telling.

Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: Killers From Space, as commentated upon by "the Film Crew."

Q: Do you smile often?
A: Define "often." Once a day? Twice?

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: I'm not unfriendly...

3 comments:

sdn said...

Q: Friend you talked to?
A: I don't really have "friends;" I'm a suburban father in his late thirties. I did have lunch with my old boss yesterday.


what do you mean you don't have friends? explain.

Johan Larson said...

"Who is number 1 on your top 8?"

It's a MySpace thing. I'm not quite sure how it works, since I don't use the site, not being a tween -- though prone to digressions -- but the top eight people on your friends list are displayed prominently on your profile page.

Andrew Wheeler said...

Sharyn: I have this image of a "friend" as someone you see regularly, share a lot of life experiences with, and count on for a lot of things. The people that fit that description in my life are all family.

I'd say that I'm friendly with a fair number of people, but I don't have close friends.

(I might be expecting too much, but a lot of people seem to have long-term close friendships with specific people, and I've never really done that.)

Post a Comment