Friday, October 12, 2007
I'm no writer, so I don't know why I did this. I got it from Jay Lake, but it was Jim Van Pelt's idea. But it amused me, and I hope it amuses you.
1) Johnny the Mook rode into Fairview late on a Friday night, hungry for cheeseburgers and vengeance. 2) Unfortunately, Jimmy’s All Night Burger Barn had been blown up for the insurance money two weeks before, when Jimmy ran away with Johnny’s girl Luanne. 3) There was one man in town who would know where that rat Jimmy had gone, so Johnny set his sights on the south side. 4) Mayor Dumbarton didn’t take kindly to Johnny’s three A.M. rat-a-tat on his front door; he slammed Johnny into jail faster than you could blink. 5) Johnny decided that Squiffy, the night guard, looked enough like Jimmy to qualify, and administered a one-armed, through-the-bars thrashing before the one-legged bailiff could get away. 6) The next day, while waiting to be arraigned, Johnny convinced Jimmy’s old cook Walter – now slinging the jailhouse chow – to whip him up a burger for old time’s sake. 7) And Johnny was duly hung that Saturday, on the trumped-up charge of whistling at a Senator’s daughter.