Imagine a face as red and furious as that of a newborn child. Imagine sparse black hair like broken quills, lying this way and that around a bald spot the colour of a baboon's bum. Imagine the nose of a Pekinese but the upper lip of Peking man, and imagine moreover the former permanently wrinkled with disgust and the latter drawn back in a set sneer from yellow, crooked teeth. Add boiled, bulging eyes, an underslung jaw that needed a shave the day it was created, and the neck of a particularly obese walrus, complete with three folds of fat in back. Got all that? Now add black clots of eyebrow and asymmetric lumps as desired, set it all on a stumpy, strutting figure in uniform, and top it off - as Grawk now did - with a tall, tall cap loaded with silver foliage.
- John Sladek, The Reproductive System, p.21 in SF Gateway Omnibus
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