Ron Miller Channels Pel Torro

There's a famously bad SF-novel description of clanking robots -- from some particularly lousy Lionel Fanthorpe novel, I believe -- which culminates in a cascade of repetitive metaphors. I heard Patrick & Teresa Nielsen Hayden do a dramatic reading of it at a Boston convention about a decade ago, and it never fails to raise a giggle. (This seems to be it here.)

Well, it now has competition.

One of those LJ creatures with weird names, Vaniel/Vandonovan, has posted scans of two pages of exceptionally very repetitive and repetitious words and sentences and paragraphs, full of metaphors and similes and descriptive language, describing a scene, an event with many, myriad descriptions of body parts and limbs and torsos and naughty bits...all from the novel Silk & Steel by Ron Miller. And I think Mr. Fanthorpe has been bested.

Go there and read. I dare you.

One short snippet:

Her arms were a corral, a fence, an enclosure; they were pennants; they were highways. Her fingers were incense. They were silver fish in clear water; they were the speed of the fish; they were the fish's wake. They were semaphores; they were meteors.

(Note: Ron Miller has done some very good astronomical art, among other things. Perhaps he was having a bad day when he wrote that scene. But it's so far over the top that I hope he did it on purpose.)