Sunday, May 17, 2009

Publishing Light-Bulb Jokes

It's been another weekend of low content; partially due to press of other stuff. Yesterday I took the boys to see Gamarjobat, the current show at the New Victory Theater in New York. (And, if you're anywhere nearby and think you might have any interest at all in two very high-energy Japanese guys doing a mix of mime, comedy, physical theater, and less definable stunts, go ASAP, because they are damn, damn funny.) Today was supposed to be the Soap Box Derby, but it got scrubbed again due to the weather; the current hope is to reschedule in September. So today I actually did laundry (difficult without a dryer, but I'm now surrounded, here in my obligatory bloggers' basement, with all of the clothes I own at various levels of sogginess), rode my new bike with Thing 2 a couple of times, wrote the usual "Reviewing the Mail" post for tomorrow morning, wrote a review for ComicMix to be posted tomorrow, and read parts of two other comics-type things to review once I actually finish them. So I didn't manage to write anything to post here today, and thus I dig into the archives.

I didn't originate this list -- it's possibly older than my publishing career, if not my actual life -- but I did post them a decade ago on the Straight Dope Message Board, which could make them mine in some jurisdictions.

Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Does it HAVE to be a lightbulb?

Q. How many editors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Only one; but first they have to rewire the entire building.

Q. How many managing editors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. You were supposed to have changed that lightbulb last week!

Q. How many cover artists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Why is there...an eggbeater, I think?...sticking out of this light fixture?

Q. How many copyeditors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. The last time this question was asked, it involved art directors. Is the difference intentional? Should one or the other instance be changed? It seems inconsistent.

Q. How many proofreaders does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Proofreaders aren't supposed to change lightbulbs. They should just query them.

Q. How many marketing directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. It isn't too late to make this neon instead, is it?

Q. How many sales directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. (pause) I get it! This is one of those lightbulb jokes, right?

Q. How many agents does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only one, but he keeps 15% of the light put out by the bulb over its lifetime.

Q. How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. But why do we have to CHANGE it?

Q. How many publishers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Three. One to screw it in, two to hold down the author.

Q: How many Production people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One.

Q: How many Production people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Damn it! I can't believe they're changing the freakin' lightbulb AGAIN!!!

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Funny!!

Anonymous said...

Well, I can tell you that the last two jokes (Production) are no more than 14.5 years old.

How do I know? I wrote 'em. (Those last two only, not the rest of the list.)

The "one" answer was a rip-off of a similar sequence regarding the answers of college majors. "One" was the answer engineers give.

Crom, it's true. The internet never forgets.

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