Odd Cover Songs We'll Probably Never Get

Back in mid-2002, there was a thread about cover songs over on the Straight Dope Message Board, and I started thinking of things that would be wonderful but that never actually would happen. This was my list:

I'd like to see Nine Inch Nails cover "Horse With No Name" and instantly (with no lyrics changes) make it sound like a song about heroin...

Then I'd like to see Syd Barrett cover any random NIN song and turn "I want to fuck you like an animal" into a whimsical expression of delight. (Hell, I'd like to see Syd Barrett out in public at all...)

I'd like to see Tom Waits cover "Maxwell's Silver Hammer," just because it would be cool.

I'd like to force Billy Bragg to cover "Capitalism" (the Oingo Boingo song), but that would probably take an infantry division.

Britney Spears could do worse than to give an all-Liz Phair concert. Besides "Flower," it would be fun to hear "Fuck and Run" and "Chopsticks"...

How about Elton John doing "Kiss Off?"

U2 could do a killer "Beat On The Brat" if they really wanted to.

And I'd love to see what Yes, circa 1984, would do with "Bitchin' Camaro."