I keep intending to enter the New Yorker's weekly cartoon caption contest, but I always forget to actually enter my ideas by the Sunday night deadline. Today I pulled out last week's New Yorker while waiting on my bus line, and realized I'd scribbled down nearly a dozen caption ideas for this cartoon, and had completely neglected to do anything about it.Well, thinks I (in bad grammar, natch), I do have a blog, so I can share these attempts at humor with the world at large. And so I shall. Feel free to mock my feeble humor-making; I can take it.
- "Can't you at least pretend to be having a passionate affair?"
- "I'm sorry, those nail clippers have just been recalled."
- "Call me Ishmael. Some years ago -- never mind how long precisely..."
- "My wife! My uncle! My nail clippers!"
- "But have you really considered the merits of an excellent set of encyclopedias?"
- "So this is what you do all day when I'm at work!?"
- "Honey, it's no fun catching you when your affairs are this boring."
- "I'm sorry, I thought this was 14736 Maple Street."
- "Mom, Dad, I have an announcement: I'm running away to accountancy school."
- "As I was saying before, life insurance is the most important purchase you can make."
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