Amazon Deals: Quick-Fire Round!

My Secret Masters have been getting annoyed with me lately; they've sent me many offers that I was supposed to pass on you people, but I've been leaving them for later. But I'm on the verge of attracting unwelcome attention from the Lidless Eye of Seattle, so have some quick links:

1) Need baby stuff? (Need it slightly later than right this second, which is when The Wife and I always needed baby stuff?) You can get free two-day shipping from Amazon if you sign up to subscribe, as well. (Did you ever think, when you were young and fabulous, that you'd ever consider subscribing to diapers? Life is just an endless sequence of unpleasant realizations, isn't it?)

2) Amazon has noticed that Mother's Day is coming up, and, through its vast databases, determined that most of you were not vat-grown, and are likely to have mothers. So they'd like to entice you to buy those mothers gifts from their vast catalog, from which they've excerpted a tastefully curated selection.

3) Speaking of holidays, Earth Day is coming up on Thursday. So any of you hippie types who want to celebrate that -- if you're also the kind of person who celebrates Earth Day by having expensive consumer goods transported across a vast continent by airplane and truck -- will want to go spend money here.

4) If I'd been more organized, I would have pointed out earlier that the Amazonians were offering a get two years for the price of one offer on magazine subscriptions this month. Hey, the month's not over yet, right? And we all love subscribing to magazines through an Internet emporium...don't we?

Please return to your regular activities after conducting whatever commerce you feel is necessary. Remember: only your frenzied and over-extended consumer activities can sustain the world economy and keep us from a devastating "double-dip" recession. No pressure.