Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Hornswoggler Family's Middle-Earth Names

I'm back from my business trip, but I'm feeling grumpy, depressed, and uninterested in blogging -- partly because of the recent travel & vacation, partly because of how much work is piling up at the office (this is the busy season), and partly because of one particular e-mail I just saw today. I do hope to bounce back in the next couple of days, but, right now, if I could be bothered to write, there would be nothing but an epic level of doom-mongering.

But, luckily, I still have some old bits and bobs stored away for times just like this.

I'm not sure which name-generator this came from, but it happened in July of 2003, so that site is probably long gone by now. I posted this on a thread on the Straight Dope Message Board, at a time when many of us there were checking to see what our names would be as hobbits and elves:

First I tried my real name --

As a hobbit: Mungo Sandybanks ("Yessir, Mr. Frodo, sir, I'll get those floors washed right now sir...")

As an elf: Valandil Nenharma ("Oh, Valinor is just too crowded this season, darling! Why don't we visit your charming cousins in Lorien instead?")

Then I used "G.B.H. Hornswoggler" (which was also my screen name there):

hobbit -- Togo Toadfoot of Frogmorton ("Whilst I was ankling my way to the Drones Club of Byswater, who should I spot but young Pongo Proudfoot! And he was in a bit of a jam, as usual, so I surged about to buck him up...")

elf -- Haldamir Miriel ("Yes, I fought in the Dwarf wars -- damn proud of it! Someone's got to keep those rock-eaters in their place, and it won't be the younger generation! Why, when I was in the Guards, my commander once said to me...")

my wife is either Daisy Sandybanks or Idril Nenharma, and the boys are Bulbo/Elrond and Pimpernel/Olwe.

Bulbo and Pimpernel?! What kind of a family am I running, here? And since when is "Bulbo" the hobbit translation of "Elrond," hm?

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