Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Book-A-Day #84 (10/9): Powers, Vol. 3: Little Deaths by Brian Michael Bendis and Michael Avon Oeming

"So this..."
"A comic book?"
"What? Kinda, it's a graphic..."
"Graphic, huh -- is that like graphic sex..."
"...novel, but you could call it..."
"...or graphic violence?"
"...a comic book. I mean, there are superheroes..."
"Call 'em Powers, 'superheroes' owned by The Man."
"Oh, right, yeah, Powers who, like, fight crime and so on..."
"Boys with too many muscles and girls with big tits?"
"What? No, it's more about cops, and they have to deal with that world..."
"And one of 'em was a Power, right? An ex-super-dude?"
"Well, yeah, but that's just background, y'know, it's really about the police work..."
"What about the sex thing, man -- this some Alan Moore porno shit?"
"No, no. I mean, there's one sex scene..."
"Whoo hoo! Naked cartoon boobies!"
"...but it's like totally necessary to the plot."
"Of course! Naked boobies are always necessary!"
"There's this super-guy, Olympia..."
"What's he, a Charles Atlas-type?"
"Yeah, super-strong, flies -- the brick, y'know?"
"Mr. f-in' Incredible, right?"
"Naw, the story's from before that. So, like Olympia dies, and he was bangin' all these groupies..."
"Oh yeah! Lots of naked cartoon boobies! Superman gettin' it on!"
"No, no, he's dead, y'know? And the cops find his like Bat-cave, y'know..."
"With his harem in it?"
"No, no, he took 'em to this cheap apartment..."
"Classy. My man Olympia is classy."
"But the cops find his little black book..."
"Who the hell actually keeps one of those, anyway?"
"Yeah, right."
"Well, so they go question all of the girls, right?"
"And we get mondo boobie flashbacks?"
"No, we just see that Olympia had a major hard-on for redheads."
"Just like you, m'man!"
"Shut up. And, anyway, they find the girl he was banging when he died..."
"Finally we get to the cartoon boobies!"
"Yeah, that's the sex scene. But the story's more about fame and power and corruption..."
"And boobies and hot naked redheads..."
"Not so much. It's like a crime story, y'know? So it's gotta be all dark and depressing and shit."
"So why'd you read it?"
"Naked boobies."
"No, really, it's, like, a good crime story that just happens to have superheroes..."
"and naked boobies..."
"...and naked boobies, yeah, in it. And there's some other, shorter stories to fill up the book."
"You mean a bunch of random shit they stuck in to fill up the page count?"
"Well, kinda, only it's all good stuff."
"And you paid money for this?"
"Well, I read comics, y'know?"
"And you can't read regular super-dudes, 'cause those are too juvenile for you, right?"
"Well, yeah."
"But super naked redhead boobies, that's just what you need."
"Shut up."
"And how's the dialogue in your naked-boobie book?"
"Eh. A little Bendis goes a long way..."

Addendum: I read Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 earlier this year, and buried my thoughts about them in gigantic what-I-read-that-month posts.

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