Movie Sequels You Are Unlikely to See

It's a major holiday today, which means the Internet is quiet. And the basement, where I'm typing this right now, is too cold. So I'm going to go somewhere warmer and leave blogging for tomorrow. But, just so I have a post dated today, I'll pull something frivolous out of the archives. 


The Straight Dope Message Board, where I hung out a lot at the beginning of this decade, had more than its fair share of silliness. And one of the particular bits of silliness was a thread about unlikely sequels to movies -- or, to be more specific, unlikely titles for movie sequels. These were my contributions:

The Eighth Sign
The Sum of All Fears Divided by The Sum of the Hypotenuse
Black Monday
Red Dragon With A Yellow Racing Stripe
Leaping Tiger, Revealed Dragon
Nicholas Dimeby
The Other Hours
Married for a Little While
Darn, You Caught Me
Some More About Schmidt
Two Weeks Notice 2: Resume Hell
Star Binding Arbitrations
Monsters, LLC: Going International
Raiders of the Ark That Got Lost Again
Landing Some Miles Away When the Wind Dies Down
A Thing That's Common To Both Guys and Girls
Re-Adaptation (a novelization)

and, finally:

The Lord of the Rings: Isn't There Some Way We Can Get a Fourth Movie Out of This?
(Formerly known as The Amazing Adventures of Beren and Luthien)